A Glimpse of ASM’s Attic

It’s not wrong to think of museums as simply organized — some much more than others — attics. Of course, almost all museums have attics of their own. It’s where they store stuff that exceeds the space available for displays but, like all that stuff in your own attic, is just too good to throw away. The American Sign Museum has always had multiple attics.

The situation became somewhat simplified when the museum moved into its current location in 2012. With the actual museum occupying about half of the approximately 40,000 square-foot building, the other half made a fine attic. I was once treated to a walk through the space when it really was an attic. I was also in the space for the incredible Signmaker’s Circus, a following Coffee With Tod session where museum founder Tod Swormstedt shared some of his thoughts on organizing signs for the Circus, and a presentation on some of the banners borrowed for the Circus (Sideshow Signage). Plans for expanding the museum were well underway when the circus came to town and the cleanup that preceded it could be considered an early step in the expansion. Most of the stuff that was in that section is now stored in other locations and a recent Coffee With Tod session provided a look at one of those locations.

Almost every available sign was pressed into service at the Signmaker’s Circus so I have seen some of the attic’s contents before. The clown and lion trashcan toppers were there. Tod has been on the lookout for the lion’s partners ever since he learned it was part of a Wizard of Oz set. The mortar and pestle hung in the museum’s main section until very recently. After leaving the attic, I stopped by to check out its replacement.

This sign from a closed New York restaurant was in the attached storage area when a retired sign painter stopped by the museum. Tod was there and took the fellow on a personal tour of the area. When they reached this sign, he stopped and stared for a long time then finally announced “I painted that”. “Made my day… my month,” Tod told us.

Letters, we got letters. We got lots and lots of letters. And walls full of neon skeleton signs, too. There are many more individual letters, some much larger than these, stacked around the area. Only about a fourth of the wall of skeleton signs is in the picture.

A couple of long tables were filled with billboard tags. Although I instantly recognized the name Lamar as something I’d seen on billboards, it had never occurred to me that it was something separate from the billboard or that it was collectible in its own right. Guess I never realized that there were so many companies painting billboards, either.

Tod is especially fond of items used by individual sign creators. Here he is showing us a couple of quite old and wonderfully personalized painters kits.

Tod also likes self-promoting signs. This one has the added attraction of being an example of bad design. It includes examples of pretty much every style of lettering the painter is capable of but picking out the painter’s name is quite a challenge and the curious spelling of “windos” makes one wonder if Mack didn’t really plan ahead.

The “ROOMS” and “I.O.O.F” signs are both backlit by candles. Tod opened each of them to show the candle holders but I was at the back of the crowd at the time and missed out on a picture. I am very confident that these unusual pieces will have a home in the museum’s new area.

Most people know that Mohammed Ali’s birth name was Cassius Clay but not everyone remembers that there was a “junior” at the end. The champion boxer’s father was a successful sign painter in Louisville, Kentucky. Cassius Clay, Sr. painted the sign that Tod holds.

Our last stop was outside at three bas-relief sculptures. They and an identical set were once part of Cincinnati Gardens sports arena. The arena was demolished in 2018 and the museum once had the letters from the arena’s name mounted outside the museum. They were removed in preparation for the expansion and will eventually reappear along with this, boxer, basketball player, and hockey player.

Much remains to be done before a completion date for the expansion can be determined. There are expectations that it will be this year and even hope that it might be around summer’s end but no one is foolish enough to make any promises or place any bets. Whatever the date, it’s pretty phenomenal to think the museum will soon double in size and will instantly be almost full. And there will still be an attic.

Bricktionary at Cincinnati Museum Center

I’ve never had Legos. I’ve had Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs and even a hand-me-down Erector Set but no Legos. Both my Tinker Toys and my Lincoln Logs were made out of real wood but I had no Legos made out of anything. If having wooden Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs isn’t sufficiently impressive, consider that I also had a Mr. Potato Head that did not come with a plastic body but required a real potato and my family’s Clue Game had a real rope (string) and lead pipe. Knowing all that should make it abundantly clear why I had no Legos. My childhood occurred at a time so far removed from the present that Legos had not yet been invented.

The Lego company and something called “Automatic Binding Bricks” did exist during my childhood but it would be the late 1950s before the sort of plastic brick we now know would appear. Initially seen only in Lego’s home country of Denmark, they would not show up in the USA until 1961. That was a little too late for me but Legos were part of my sons’ toy collections. They were not a big part although they were around enough for me to experience stepping on them barefoot in the dark. The experience is certainly a memorable one but the pain level does not, in my opinion, equal that of stepping on a Barbie high heel under similar circumstances. Legos really took hold a generation later and at least one grandson dived pretty deep into the phenomenon.

Others took even deeper dives to become LEGO® Certified Professionals. One of those professionals, Ryan “The Brickman” McNaught, is responsible for “Bricktionary: The ultimate LEGO® A-Z” exhibit at the Cincinnati Museum Center that I visited Friday. It is based on a book of the same name. Learning that A is for alligator is a good start.

The Seattle Space Needle just beyond the alligator had me stumped until I figured out it was part of the ‘B’ section. B is for buildings like the Space Needle and the Sydney Opera House.

There are several hands-on stations in the exhibit where lots of Lego elements are available to experiment with. At the earthquake station, visitor-built structures can be tested for stability on adjustable shaking platforms.

It took me a second to realize that G is for garden but knowing that H is for Harley Davidson was immediate. I was pretty impressed with the spokes made out of bricks and I thought the giant flower so cool that I used a shot of just the bloom for an Instagram/Facebook post.

I found this hands-on station extra interesting and spent some time talking with the two people operating it. In the end, I participated myself. It has some similarities with assembling a jigsaw puzzle except all of the “puzzling” has already been done. Screens display random sections of the big image for visitors to copy onto 6×6 panels. The pattern I followed to assemble my section is here. Completed sections are placed in their proper position by one of the station workers. The image being assembled here is a frontal view of the Museum Center. There are others including an awesome view of the Grand Canyon. It takes a number of days to complete an image but several have already been assembled and disassembled since the exhibit opened in March. There is talk of the Museum Center image remaining in Cincinnati when the exhibit moves on and I briefly had visions of my little panel becoming part of a permanent museum display. I quickly realized, however, that the Museum Center, the Grand Canyon, and every other image will likely rise and fall many more times before the exhibit closes in August.

This Lego model of the Museum Center, a.k.a., Union Terminal, sits at the line separating the big exhibit from the obligatory gift shop. One of the items available in the shop is the Bricktionary book mentioned earlier. I should have checked to see if it gives instructions for building all 150+ models in the exhibit. If so, then anyone could duplicate the exhibit with a little free time and about 3,000,000 Legos. If only my condo was a skosh bigger.

A Normal Opening Day

Cincinnati Reds opening day parades were canceled in 2020 and 2021 because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Last year’s parade was delayed along with the start of the season by an owner-player dispute but it did happen. Opening Day 2019 was normal in most respects but I missed the parade due to my own bad planning. I made the parade in 2018 although it was delayed by legitimate business concerns having nothing to do with owners, players, viruses, or weather. In 2017 I was out of town for what I understand was a very nice and quite normal parade. That means that the parade of 2016 was the last one I attended that happened as it was supposed to. I’m sure glad that streak is over.

I decided to get serious this year and reached Arnold’s about twenty minutes ahead of the planned 9:00 opening. Obviously, quite a few folks were even more serious but I was still in time to get a seat in the courtyard and get a breakfast sandwich and Shamrock Shake. I was there when Todd Hepburn arrived looking quite dapper and I stayed long enough to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” with him.

The day would eventually get warm but walking to the parade’s start point at Findlay Market was fairly chilly. Near the market, I encountered all four of the Reds’ mascots exiting their limo and heading to the staging area. That’s Rosie Red on the left, Mr. Red on the right, Gapper in the middle, and Mr. Redlegs still in the limo.

My walk and some strolling through the staging area consumed a fair amount of time but the parade start was still several minutes away when I took up a position near the parked Cincinnati Police motorcycles that would lead the parade. Those minutes passed quickly and shortly past noon, the parade was set in motion.

With the passing of the pipes and drums, the organizers’ float, and the iconic Jim Tarbell dressed as the also iconic Peanut Jim, there’s no doubt that we’ve got a real parade going on.

The four mascots spread throughout the parade with Gapper getting the position of leading the parade’s two grand marshalls. Pitchers Danny Graves and Bronson Arroyo are both being inducted into the Reds Hall of Fame this year and are sharing Grand Marshall duties. During the time I was waiting by the motorcycles, the pair had arrived nearby in a van. Danny never turned toward me at the time but I did get a decent shot of Bronson which I’m sharing here.

This group, looking like players and fans from the earliest days of baseball, represents the Reds Hall of Fame and Museum. Mr. Redlegs is close behind.

A few entries later, Rosie Red leads what could be called the parade’s glamour section. Kentucky’s Heather French Henry, Miss America 2000, is as lovely and enthusiastic as ever.

Indicative of Cincinnati and the Reds’ place in a tri-state area, the reigning beauty queens of Ohio (Elizabetta Nies), Kentucky (Hannah Edelen), and Indiana (Elizabeth Hallal) also accompanied Rosie. Maybe it’s a generational thing or maybe it’s because this was early in the parade route but I’d like to think that Heather French’s enthusiasm had something to do with all three title holders forgoing the standard “regal wave” and actually interacting with the crowd.

The Wilburforce University Marching Band got some pre-parade press so I was sort of on the lookout for them when I saw them heading to the staging area and snapped a less-than-great picture. This is the first marching band WU has ever had and it attracted enough attention during its first year of existence to be invited to march in multiple Mardi Gras parades in New Orleans. It’s a really good band and that’s a wonderful accomplishment.

Mr. Red, the fourth and final Reds mascot, was riding with the Friends of Findlay Market. I have no identification for the other two photos except I do know that one is the parade’s most athletic and the other the parade’s cutest.

I have two reasons for including the Lebanon High School Marching Band in this post. One is the eye-catching cool uniforms and the other is that the band was playing “Fins” as they passed. I’m guessing that’s because it’s the only Jimmy Buffett song that calls out Cincinnati and covering Buffett is all the reason anyone needs for joining a band.

In addition to Ferraris and Gina Lollobrigida, Italy has given us Vespas, Reds fans, and Americans.

When I took this picture, the Reds were 0-0. In a few hours, they would be 0-1 but they are now 1-1 just like every other team in the NL Central Division. Mathematically they have the same shot as everyone else but retired Reds announcer Marty Brennaman proclaimed during the parade, “Anybody that thinks they are [going to win the division] are delusional.” Realistically, we could see a repeat of last year’s dismal 62-100 season. Of course, there’s nothing like a parade on a sunny day to make you forget the worst of the past and remember the best, and a smiling George Foster — Big Red Machine outfielder and 1977 NL MVP — is a great reminder of some of that best.

The King Records float was another reminder of the best of Cincinnati history. I got so caught up in watching Tony Wilson that I almost missed Bootsy Collins. Wilson, given the name Young James Brown by the real James Brown, was singing and dancing in the street while Bootsy was keeping a pretty low profile — for someone wearing a sparkling blue top hat — on the float.

I know I’ve seen members of the Cincinnati Circus Company in other parades but I don’t recall seeing a group behind a banner before. Of course, that probably has more to do with my recall than reality.

Following the parade, I overheard several comments from people who were really impressed by the Indianapolis motorcycle officer riding his ‘cycle while standing up. I witnessed that bit of derring-do but got no photos. The last parade picture is of one of my all-time favorites, the Lawnmower Precision Drill Team from Wapakoneta.

I apologize for what might be a personal record for the number of photos in a blog post but I assure you it could have been worse. Maybe it was ending the seven-year streak of missed or somehow off-kilter parades that caused me to take so many pictures. Limiting this post to what I hope is only slightly too many was not an easy task.

When the last of the parade passed me, I was near Washington Park and headed immediately to Cobblestone OTR across the street. I believe I could have bought a beer almost instantly but decided I ought to dispose of the one I had for breakfast first. The line at the restroom extended through much of the bar and that convinced me to just move on. The crowd at Knockback Nat’s was out the door and, although I could step inside Madonna’s, that place was definitely full also. I found the same thing at Arnold’s but my car was nearby and I brought the day’s hike to an end right there. I finally got that beer at City View Tavern where barely a half dozen customers preceded me and I was able to grab a seat at deck’s edge. That situation did not last long and the couple at the table behind me instantly moved forward when I left.  

Play Review
A Chorus Line
Playhouse in the Park

This is no more about an actual play than was my most recent Play Review post. That post ostensibly concerned Company, a musical with six Tony Awards and a cast of fourteen. The musical in this post’s title won ten Tonys and has a cast of twenty-six. That previous post was really about the production company. Both posts involved theaters I was entering for the first time, and the theater is what this post is really about.

I’ve attended many performances at Playhouse in the Park but I entered The Rouse Theater for the first time Tuesday because it is brand new. As the heart of a $50 million project, it replaces the aging Marx Theater with a fully ADA-accessible facility. Many improvements, such as dressing and rehearsal rooms, do not involve the performance space. Others, including a fly gallery and an area below the stage, do but are still out of the audience’s view. A luxury lounge and upper-level restrooms are among the things yet to be completed.

The picture at right shows the view from my seat in the very last row of the balcony. Not too shabby in my opinion. A Chorus Line is the first production in the new theater. Apparently, the official opening night is Thursday with performances on Saturday, Tuesday, and Wednesday being called previews. The ribbon-cutting ceremony took place on Monday which makes the whole sequence kind of confusing to me. I guess that’s show business.

ADDENDUM 15-Mar-2023: It will not surprise anyone when I acknowledge that attending a play and posting even a slim and shallow review of it the next morning is something of a challenge. The photo at left is one that I simply forgot I had. It was taken as I approached the Playhouse on Art Museum Drive and shows how the new theater is now a real presence beyond its hilltop plateau. I fully intended to somehow include a reference to last year’s Getting Springy in Cincy post but it became just another thing I forgot. Scroll to the bottom for a couple of pictures of the under-construction theater taken nearly a year ago and one from my last time inside the Marx Theater taken on the same day.

Railroad Stations Stamps Dedication

Thursday was a very special day for serious rail fans who live near Cincinnati and collect stamps. It was actually a pretty special day for casual rail fans who live near Cincinnati and don’t collect stamps. I know that because I’m in that second group. Thursday, March 9, was the first day of issue for a set of commemorative postage stamps featuring five historic train stations. Not only is Cincinnati’s Union Terminal one of those stations, but it was also the site of the dedication ceremony introducing the stamps.

Images of the stamps have been available for some time so the official unveiling would not be all that dramatic. Even so, I was surprised to see that the stamps and associated items were on sale ahead of the 11:00 AM dedication. That sign in front of the terminal can be read here.

I bought two sheets and a set of first day covers. I may save one sheet but one is definitely to use. I got the set of covers largely because I didn’t know what I was doing. I really just wanted a first day cover with the Cincinnati stamp but ended up with all five. The other stations are in Tamaqua, PA; Point of Rocks, MD; Richmond, VA; and San Bernardino, CA. Read about the stamps and the stations here. As it turned out, I would not have had to buy any as the program for the dedication was in a first day cover with the Cincinnati stamp. A cool pin was also included.

Seeing that John Lomax was the emcee was a wonderful surprise. John recently retired from WKRC-TV where he was one of my favorite news anchors. After the ceremony concluded, most of the participants stayed for autographs. I initially headed elsewhere but when the line got quite short decided to get that envelope in the previous panel signed. When I reached John, I told him that we had spent a few Reds opening days and a couple of car shows together — even though he didn’t know it.

A color guard from the Loveland American Legion and VFW posts presented the colors and DeMarco Reed from the School for Creative and Performing Arts did an impressive job singing the national anthem. We were all welcomed by Cincinnati Museum Center CEO Elizabeth Pierce and Hamilton County Commission President Alicia Reece. Pierce remarked on what a nice coincidence it was to have a commemorative stamp issued during the terminal’s 90th year. The Cincinnati Museum Center is housed in the terminal.

Daniel Tangherlini from the USPS Board of Governors presided over the actual “unveiling”. Tangherlini deviated from his prepared speech to note that this train-related event was taking place in a state where two significant train incidents (derailments near East Palestine and Springfield) had recently occurred. He called these reminders of the need to keep safety front and center in USPS operations.

Following the dedication, Janice Forte and Nicholas Cates shared personal memories of Union Terminal. Forte is a historian and docent at the building. Some of her memories involved interactions with visitors who had their own memories. Cates grew up in the area and told of his inspiring first visit while in high school and the incredible good fortune that brought him back to the city and the role of lead architect on the terminal’s recent restoration.

When all the formalities were over, I made a visit to the Amtrak passenger area next to the auditorium then joined the autograph line as I mentioned before. Back in the rotunda, the previously covered image of the Cincinnati stamp had been revealed and sales had slowed a bit but were still going strong.

Before leaving, I grabbed pictures of some of the murals in the rotunda, that iconic domed ceiling, and the model of the terminal that is part of the “Cincinnati in Motion” exhibit in the history museum.


When passenger service moved from Union Terminal in 1972, my sister-in-law and I headed there to take some pictures. We were turned away but as we walked back toward our car we saw a man with a box of toy trains being admitted. We then learned that a hobby shop temporarily remained in business inside the building and customers were permitted access. We declared ourselves customers and were allowed through the door to walk directly to and from the shop. Once there, we realized that the shop dealt in expensive (to our budgets) model train gear. Being more or less obligated to buy something, we did find one thing we could afford and each bought an envelope that had been carried and canceled on the last train to leave the terminal. That “last day” envelope, for which I paid $2 plus 9¢ tax, is pictured with the “first day” envelope, for which I paid $1.18 (set of 5 for $5.90) and no tax. A clear example of the advantage of going straight to the source and buying in bulk.

Our walk from the store was not quite as direct as our walk to it had been as we feverishly snapped pictures of anything that looked interesting. Neither was it as direct as at least one observer would have liked. We had stopped shooting and were probably halfway across the big open space when a man emerged from somewhere and shouted something with the word “pictures” in it. We mumbled something back and kept walking. He was in pursuit as we reached the door and exited but apparently decided that we weren’t worth going outside for. It is the only time I’ve ever thought it quite possible that someone might grab my camera and pull the film from it.

I know not where those pictures are. My photography was a very low-budget affair in those days. It’s likely that they were shot on black & white film that I bought in bulk and spooled and developed myself. It is also likely that few if any were ever printed. Those negatives may eventually turn up somewhere or they may be truly lost to the world. Thankfully that wonderful building has not been even though it came very close.

Book Review
Lost Treasures of Cincinnati
Amy E. Brownlee

Amy E. Brownlee is a lifelong Cincinnatian. She naturally learned a lot about the city growing up here then used that knowledge and added much more during her ten years at Cincinnati Magazine. An awful lot of the treasures she writes about in Lost Treasures of Cincinnati were lost before she arrived but a rather frightening number have disappeared during her lifetime. Of course, an even larger number have disappeared during mine. Neither of us is responsible for that. I swear it’s coincidence pure and simple.

Lost Treasures of Cincinnati contains five major sections with several sub-sections in each. Most pages are split between two different lost treasures although more than a few treasures get a page all to themselves. Most descriptions are accompanied by images and these are usually of the actual treasure but there are exceptions to both. I believe that each treasure is described in a single paragraph although it is possible that an exception or two escaped me.

The book opens with “Food and Drink” in Section 1 then covers “Entertainment” and “Retail” in the next two sections. The smallest section, “Media”, is followed by the largest, “Community”. Definitions for those section titles are not particularly rigid and the size of the “Community” section probably indicates that it is the least rigid of all. It is where things like churches and breweries, of which Cincinnati had more than a few, appear.

Most, but not quite all, of the breweries mentioned in the book were gone before I got here. Likewise with restaurants and attractions which together comprise the biggest part of things that have disappeared during my lifetime. I caught one show, Hair, at the Shubert (“Entertainment”) before it was torn down. I also saw one movie at the Albee (“Entertainment”) but I don’t remember what it was. I had one meal each at The Gourmet Room and the Maisonette (“Food and Drink”) before they closed. There are quite a few places in this book where I ate one or more meals or watched one or more movies, plays, games, or concerts. Encountering each of them on these pages prompted memories that went way beyond the single paragraph of text. Reading about places that were already gone when I came to Cincinnati didn’t prompt any memories, of course, but it did make me appreciate just how many treasures have been lost.

I really enjoyed reading Lost Treasures of Cincinnati cover-to-cover front-to-back but as I did, two other ways of reading the book came to mind. With its fairly short standalone essays, it seems like a natural fit for that popular personal reading room with the porcelain furniture. Its use as a reference book also seems rather natural. I don’t mean an every-last-detail reference book to use in conducting deep-dive research but a great place to answer questions like “What was the name of that boat-shaped restaurant?” or “What happened to our NBA team?”. The full index will help the book play that role.

Lost Treasures of Cincinnati, Any E. Brownlee, Reedy Press (October 1, 2022), 6 x 9 inches, 192 pages, ISBN 978-1681063263
Available through Amazon.

Book Review
Cincinnati Curiosities
Greg Hand

Greg Hand has been a man of letters — or at least a man of words — his entire adult life. He began as a newspaper reporter, moved up to editor, left to head up a university PR department, co-authored three books about the university while he was there, then retired. I was not even slightly aware of any of this as it was happening. I only became aware of Hand’s existence when I stumbled upon the blog he started post-retirement. His knowledge of local history and ability to dig up information to augment that knowledge was immediately apparent and I’ve been an ardent reader of that blog ever since that happy discovery. The blog’s name is Cincinnati Curiosities and it can be found here. That the blog would lead to a book by the same name seems pretty natural.

The book borrows more than its name from the blog. I recognize some of the book’s subjects from the blog and I suppose it’s possible that all have appeared there although I don’t believe that’s the case. Of course, there is a good chance that any topics appearing for the first time in the book will show up in the blog sometime in the future.

Cincinnati Curiosities (the book) begins with a definition of Cincinnati taken from Urban Dictionary. When I visited the source, I discovered that the definition was just one of more than forty that individuals have contributed. Most are simply excuses for hurling insults rife with misspellings and such but a few, including the one that Hand chose, make some attempt at being insightful. The Hand-picked quote begins, “A pleasantly bland and annoyingly conservative city…” Although there are some that disagree, I believe that’s a fair representation of the view that most non-residents (and many residents) have of Cincinnati. Hand goes so far as to state that, “We deserve this reputation.” Then, after agreeing that Cincinnati’s “bland” reputation is probably justified, he proceeds to show us that it wasn’t always so.

In fact, later in the book, Hand offers another very different capsulated view of the city. On December 12, 1890, he tells us, “The Palace Hotel had elephant steak on the menu because an elephant was executed by firing squad that morning at the Cincinnati Zoo. Hundreds of people watched. That pretty much summarizes Cincinnati in 1890.”

The book is not just some blog posts strung together. There are, in my opinion, two big differences between blog and book. One is simply the physical difference between holding a book and flipping through pages versus scrolling through items on a screen. The second is grouping. The book organizes the writings in groups so that a subject can be looked at from multiple angles or related stories can be read as a collection. The previous comment about the well-attended elephant shooting begins the chapter titled “The Sensational and the Senseless”. In addition to the tale of a pachyderm’s public demise, the chapter tells of the zoo’s annual Butcher’s Day, people leaping from bridges for profit, musclemen demonstrating feats of strength, and other assorted entertainments.

“The Sensational and the Senseless” is the fourth of ten chapters. Other chapters tell of monsters in the Ohio River (“The Old Weird Cincinnati”), Fanny Trollope’s visit during the “Porkoplis” period (“Tales From the Old City”), the possibility that striptease was invented in Cincinnati (“Freaks, Flesh, and Footlights”), and a large variety of other topics. The striptease claim is based on Millie De Leon’s orchestrated removal of several garters in 1901, and Hand cites the claim in suggesting that a Striptease Hall of Fame might be an “appropriate addition to our Over-the-Rhine neighborhood”. 

Hand’s usually light-hearted reports are often accompanied by contemporary illustrations. At left is a Pears Soap advertisement based on Lillie Langtry’s famous bath in Apollinaris water at Cincinnati’s Grand Hotel in 1883. It’s in the chapter titled “Nudity, Naughtness, and Negotiable Affection”, and if that doesn’t get you interested in the book I don’t know what will.

In addition to authoring this book and the aforementioned blog, Mr. Hand is a founder and mainstay of Stand-Up History which I reported on here. His stand-up presentations typically also fit in the Cincinnati Curiosities category. In a wonderful coincidence, the troupe is appearing at Muse Cafe on the same day that this review is being published. In a not-wonderful coincidence, I am committed to doing something else at the exact same time. Happily (for you, not me), my absence will mean more room for attendees. There is more info here.

Cincinnati Curiosities: Healing Powers of the Wamsley Madstone, Nocturnal Exploits of Old Man Dead, Mazeppa’s Naked Ride & More, Greg Hand, The History Press (November 14, 2022), 6 x 9 inches, 160 pages, ISBN 978-1467152822
Available through Amazon.

Book Review
Red Dirt Girl
Katie Laur

This was one of the most flat-out enjoyable reads I’ve had in a long time. I have seen Katie perform many times, heard her talk on the radio several times, and even chatted with her personally a few times. I knew her as a talented musician and entertaining storyteller but I did not know her as a writer. Others, it seems, have been aware of Laur’s writing skills for some time. It’s my impression that nothing other than the foreword, an introduction, and Katie’s acknowledgments was written specifically for this book. In one of the book’s essays, Katie talks of selling her writing and says she sold everything she wrote. From that, I assume that each of the essays and stories that make up Red Dirt Girl has previously appeared in print somewhere. Where I don’t know and regret that where ever it was, it was outside my field of vision. That I am only now seeing the literary side of Katie is very much my loss. This gal can write.

She writes about growing up in Tennessee, Michigan, and Alabama and the family and music that was so important to her. She writes about the Cincinnati music scene, and many other scenes in the city too. She writes about life as a touring musician traveling by van to regional bluegrass festivals and national radio shows. She writes about staking out her own spot on radio with nearly three decades of Music From The Hills Of Home. And she writes about all of those things with insights that show she was never just singing or talking; she was also listening and watching.

Laur and I arrived in Cincinnati within a year or so of each other so I’m familiar with many of the people and places she writes about. I remember Caledonia, Mister Spoons, and Johnny Rosebud. I remember Aunt Maudie’s (where I almost certainly first saw Katie perform) and the still-thriving Arnold’s. But I remember these things as a customer or audience member while Katie remembers them as an insider. Her memories not only wake up some of my own but also augment them and maybe make me appreciate them even more.

She also writes about people and places I’ve had no personal contact with at all. In fact, that applies to most of the book’s subjects. While those writings don’t awaken any of my own memories, they are every bit as entertaining as those that do and more educational too.

Being a resident of southwest Ohio during the last third of the twentieth century certainly makes some of the subjects of the stories more familiar but I don’t know that it makes any of the stories better. Laur made her living as a musician so a goodly portion of the book’s content is music related but far from all of it. Bluegrass was her forte so many of the writings that are music related concern bluegrass musicians, venues, and festivals — but far from all of them. I’m fairly confident that reading this book will be flat-out enjoyable no matter where you live and even if you’re not a fan of bluegrass or any other sort of music. Of course, if you did spend some of the last four or five decades in or near Cincinnati and are a bluegrass musician or maybe even a bluegrass fan, you just might be in the book.

Red Dirt Girl: Essays and Stories, Katie Laur, Orange Frazer Press (2022), 6 x 9 inches, 309 pages, ISBN 978-1949248-593

Available direct from the publisher, Orange Fraser Press, and at local bookstores, Iris Book Cafe and Urban Eden.

Stand Up History Live

Historian Greg Hand and mixologist Molly Wellman dreamed up Stand-Up History a few years back but, due to a combination of ignorance and conflicts, it took me until January 2023 to actually make it to a performance. I liked the concept the instant that I heard of it, and the reality did not disappoint in the slightest. That January event was at the Muse Cafe on Harrison Avenue. The subject of this post, my second Stand-Up History experience, took place at the Mercantile Library in Cincinnati’s downtown. Not only would Molly be one of the evening’s presenters, she had made and was serving a big bowl of her Ginger Punch.

Stand-Up History is a wonderful learn-while-you-laugh program. As you no doubt guessed, the name came from “stand-up comedy”. In fact, searching for “stand-up history” will result in a bunch of links to the history of stand-up comedy pushing hits for this operation well down the list. The name isn’t all that’s borrowed, of course. A program consists of individuals standing up and talking. The subjects are all historical and the presenters are all experts but the presentations have a decidedly humorous focus and the subjects are chosen to assist in generating smiles, grins, chuckles, and guffaws. 

First up tonight was astronomer Dean Regas. Regas was also a presenter at that January show I attended. I’ve heard him on radio many times but that was my first time seeing him in person. Tonight’s topic was “How to Teach Grown-Ups About Pluto” which happens to be the name of Regas’ latest book.  It was a good use of his wonderful wit and his knowledge of both science and history.

Author and blogger Dann Woellert was up next with “Our Badass Sister of Charity and the Creation of Cincinnati Pizza Pie”. Sister Blandina Segale’s long life included serving her church in Colorado and New Mexico, dealings with a lynch mob and Billy the Kid, and establishing institutions such as Saint Rita’s School for the Deaf and San Antonio Parish in Cincinnati. One of the first places in America where pizza was served was at San Antonio festivals. It’s pretty amazing where the history of food will lead you if you let it.

As Cincinnati’s favorite mixologist, Molly Wellmann is an expert on the history of Cincinnati’s adult beverages and the places that served them. She sort of ventured out of her comfort zone tonight by telling the story of “How Hyde Park Became a Village Without Having a Tavern”. It was long ago annexed by the city of Cincinnati and now has taverns aplenty.

Greg Hand, of Cincinnati Curiosities, finished things up by poking holes in “Myths Cincinnatians Dearly Want to Believe”. There were myths about hills, chili, ketchup, and more. The final myth addressed was that Mark Twain quote about Cincinnati and the end of the world. “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati. It is always ten years behind the times,” has often been attributed to Twain but, as Hand pointed out, there is absolutely no evidence that he actually said it. I’ve always thought the quote presented Cincinnatians with a dilemma. On one hand, it’s kind of nice to have someone as famous as Twain notice your city but, on the other, very few people really want to live in a place that is ten (or, in some versions, twenty) years out of date. I don’t believe that Hand mentioned it but I’ve turned up a claim that the first reference to the quote in print was in 1978. A similar quote about the end of the world and Bavaria being fifty years behind appeared in print in 1886 and probably existed earlier. By 1978, Twain had been dead for 68 years and the Bavarian comment was 94 years old. That makes being one or two decades “behind the times” appear not so bad.

So here’s the whole crew including MC Mike Perrino in the middle of all the presenters. Having been founded in 1835, the Mercantile Library has lots of history. Perrino reminded us of that by noting that this was the 165th anniversary of an appearance by Herman Melville that local papers reported as “Earnest, though not sufficiently animated.” Tonight’s presenters seemed to be well aware of the importance of being animated. Some of them will be doing this somewhere on the third Thursday of every month for the foreseeable future. Next month, Molly, Greg, and Mike will be joined by Ann Senefeld at Muse Cafe. Details here.

A Return to the Cavalcade

I spent my freshman year at the University of Cincinnati in an on-campus dorm. My high school buddy Dale attended college in Indiana that year. During the following summer, Dale decided to transfer to the Ohio College of Applied Science in Cincinnati, and the two of us decided to share an apartment. The OCAS school year started a little ahead of UC’s so Dale was already settled in when I drove down to join him. Following my drive, I was ready to relax in my new home but that was not to be. Dale and a newly met classmate were waiting at the door. They had plans and basically turned me immediately around. The three of us headed off to Cincinnati Gardens and the 1966 Cavalcade of Customs.

They say this year’s Cavalcade of Customs is the 63rd annual event. I think that means that the show I attended in ’66 was probably the seventh or eighth. The Gardens was demolished in 2018 but the Cavalcade had moved on well before that. It’s now held downtown at the convention center. I was there on Friday. Although I don’t remember much about that earlier show, I do recall that there were mirrors on the floor beneath quite a few cars. I probably remember that detail because I think it was the first time I’d ever seen such a thing. Of course, I simply was not used to being around cars with undercarriages worth looking at. Here is one of the mirrors beneath that 1940 Willys in the opening photograph. It reflects the chromed oil pan which reflects some lights that are reflected in the mirror. At least that’s what I think is going on.

I know there were some trucks at that 1966 show but I’m pretty sure they were all smallish pickups like George Barris’ Ala Kart. (Which I think may have actually been there.) Americans’ attraction to great big haulers that do very little hauling is something that has developed in the six decades since, and it is certainly in evidence at the Cavalcade.

This 1946 Chevrolet is my personal favorite of all the trucks on display. It’s not very big and it’s not really a custom but it doesn’t seem like the organizers were all that hung up on having only customs in their Cavalcade of Customs so I’m not either. It is a great-looking restoration/recreation and those miniature gas pumps surrounding it don’t hurt.

These definitely qualify as customs although none are in the same class as the previously mentioned Ala Kart. Truly radical George Barris-style customization just might be a thing of the past.

There are several customized motorcycles in this year’s show and at least one of them might be considered radical. I’m pretty sure both of those statements were true of the 1966 Cavalcade as well.

Some of the displayed cars brought back memories beyond attending that show back in the 60s. I have owned a second-generation Corvair, a Chevy Vega, and a C6 Corvette. My cars were not identical to these, however. My ‘Vair was red, my Vega green, and my ‘Vette blue.

More cars are on display on the third floor which is reached via two very long escalators. There are some very interesting automobiles here but few if any could be called customs. I’m guessing that the theme is sports and performance cars, and the mix includes some slightly exotic vehicles.

The long line is not for a car. Several celebrities are slated to appear at the Cavalcade and — for a fee — autograph something or pose for a selfie. I’d spotted a line of folks on the first floor waiting for Henry Winkler to show up. That was a respectable line of thirty or forty but this line is considerably longer (There were at least twenty people behind the point where I took the picture.) and the celebrities it led to were already in place and hard at work.

Having nothing with me that I wanted signed, I avoided the line, exchanged knowing winks with a Miata, and started down the escalators.

Today, January 15, is the 2023 Cavalcade of Customs‘ final day. It opens at 10:00 and closes at 6:00.